For a long time I let myself hide behind a facade. That facade was what everyone knew of me, even my closest friends and family. The facade was one of a strong young woman who had her life together, who was happy and social, who lived a healthy lifestyle. In public, that's who I was.
Alone I was a very different person. I was confused and sad, struggling internally with constant self-doubt and self-loathing, living in a world of shame and guilt that I didn't share with anyone. I frequently binged on whatever food I could manage to collect and eat in secret--in my room at college, in my car at the empty end of a parking lot.
Eventually I started seeking help and began a journey I am still on today--a journey to life without this eating disorder. While I am by no means near the end of this journey, I have made significant progress. The best part? My binge eating disorder is no longer a secret. I am opening my life to friends and family who have found ways to offer support I never thought they could, and I am escaping the shame I used to feel when hiding this part of myself. Finally, I am talking about eating disorders whenever I get the chance. If it comes up in conversation during one of my graduate school classes, I talk about it. If a friend makes an ill-informed comment, I talk about it. Talking about this disorder has been empowering in ways I never imagined, and I hope my blog can allow others to do the same.
Always love,
Secret
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